Veggie Vampires
ARTICHOKE: ARTIE
I like swimming in olive oil. I do not own a bathing suit.
ASPARAGUS: ANGUS & ALBUS
Our names are Albus and Angus Asparagus and we’re wizards.
AVOCADO: ALMODÓVAR
I’m so excited when I watch foreign films. My best friend is a chip.
CARROTS: CARA & SARA
We are identical twins but we swear we’re not the creepy kind.
CAULIFLOWER: DOLLY
I’ve been giving it my caul for years but people are finally starting to notice.
CORN: HUSKO
Back where I’m from, we see shooting stars nightly. I tell corny jokes.
CUCUMBER: BENEDICT CUCUMBER-BATCH
I can never find pants that are long enough so I started wearing jorts.
EGGPLANT: MARCELINE AUBERGINE
I only go out at night.
GARLIC: GABY
I swear I brush my teeth 3 times a day but people still say my breath smells.
JALAPEÑO: KIRSTIE
My name is Kirstie Jalapeño and I make awesome, spicy vegan food.
KALE: PIPPI
I have curly hair and I’m Swedish. I can write upside-down.
MUSHROOM: PORTIA
I just got cast in my first play! My girlfriend is so proud.
ONION: BOBBY
I spiff up alley finds and make them new again! I have 4 besties!
POTATO: CHANNING POTATUM
I tot myself to cook last year. I love listening to mash-ups.
RADISH: RASHIDA
I’m spicy. I’ve seen things. You don’t know the half of it. You NEVER will.
SQUASH: SIMON
I watch slime videos but I don’t like the squish sound it makes.
SWEET POTATO: JANELLE
I’m extremely versatile. I sing with my eyes closed.
Fanged Fruits
BANANA: BARB
I’m the tallest in my class. My mom says I’m full of po-SASS-ium.
BLUEBERRY: BUSTER
It’s okay to be blue. I am and I can’t change it.
CHERRIES: LUKE & LORELAI
We argue a lot but our nights together end in sweet talk.
GRAPES: GILA
I surround myself with wonderful people. My advice: always carry a knife.
LEMON: LIONEL
I love pairing up with a hot toddy when it’s cold outside.
LIME: AYAKA
My happy place is at the pottery studio. Touching clay is so calming.
PEACH: MEL
I’m with Kate. It’s a good time for impeachment. I should know!
PEAR: PERCY
My Sisters of Mercy cover band is called Sisters of Percy.
PINEAPPLE: PUNKY
If you cross me, I’ll cut you. I know you would do the same to me.
STRAWBERRY: SYLVIA
I only write in a journal now. I miss my friends on LiveJournal.
TOMATO: ISSA & MOLLY
We need a bit of seed money to fund our new comedy act.
WATERMELON: WANDA
Early in my career, I went on a date with Elvis.